40 pages • 1 hour read
Baca places great importance on his family and explores this theme throughout his memoir. His teenage parents are flawed and selfish people, and Baca’s mother runs away with another man when her children are young. Baca’s father, a violent alcoholic, spends the rest of his life seeking her. Without parents, the Baca children find a home with their grandparents. This arrangement is short-lived, however, and the two boys are sent to an orphanage after their grandfather dies. From the orphanage, Baca is sent to a youth detention center and eventually to a state prison. Throughout his formative years, Baca has no real home or family, and desperately longs for both. In the worst of times in prison, Baca recalls his family and home in Estancia, New Mexico. These memories become a balm to his soul, and his ability to escape into the dream world of his childhood helps him endure his prison sentence.
Baca’s memoir is, in part, a literacy narrative, so readers would naturally expect that one of the book’s primary concerns will be the narrator’s experiences with language. Once Baca begins to write letters to Harry, the acquisition of language becomes one of the work’s primary concerns. Baca discovers an identity for himself through his newly-acquired reading and writing abilities. He also learns to view himself as a writer and uphold the moral standards he believes are appropriate for a person who wants to be a writer. For example, Baca decides to forego vengeance on a prison enemy because he sees the man as a fellow human being and believes that he cannot be a poet or a writer with the man’s blood on his hands. Baca is fortunate to be in contact with writers and editors who help him in his aim to become a published writer, and Baca finds satisfaction and identity as a writer.
In addition to his search for the permanence of family, Baca also seeks a cultural identity. He has always felt alienated because of his dark skin and Chicano heritage. In prison, however, he begins to recall stories his grandfather has told him. He also meets another prisoner named Chelo, a man who takes pride in his Chicano identity and encourages Baca to do the same. Chelo shares legends and stories with Baca, who begins to feel empowered by the history of his family and his people. Baca has never felt a sense of belonging, but discerning his place in such a rich culture makes him not only comfortable but proud of his cultural identity.
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By Jimmy Santiago Baca