Allegedly

Ms. Carmen, one of the social workers, visits the group home and inspects everyone’s belongings: There are holes in all of Mary’s underwear . After the inspection, Mary returns her pocket knife, cell phone, and the money she’s saved from her allowance to their hiding place. Mary describes her weekly scheduled activities that are supposed to keep her busy and prepare her for life outside of the system. 

In a routine meeting, Ms. Carmen asks Mary what she wants to be when she grows up. Mary considers how “no one had asked [her] what [she] wanted to do in years, but [she] knew the answer: [She] wanted to be a teacher” (28). Ms. Carmen tells her she doesn’t think “that is a good idea” (28). Instead, she has steered Mary to cosmetology, and now Mary prepares for her GED and attends cosmetology school. Mary describes how closely she and the others are monitored, as well as the hassle of check-out with Ms. Reba, who Mary considers to be of inferior intelligence. In addition to school, Mary performs 25 hours of community service each week as a candy striper at Greenview Nursing Home. Mary has a boyfriend, Ted, who also volunteers at Greenview. They are affectionate with one another. Over a cafeteria lunch, Mary informs him that her period is late. He is not concerned and gifts her with an SAT prep book. Mary is overjoyed but concerned about how Ted obtained it. 

The narrative is interrupted by notes from the deposition of Mary’s fourth grade teacher who confirms Mary’s advanced level of intelligence. Mary resumes narration and describes the future that she and Ted have planned, detailing how she will save half of her $35 allowance every week for the next four years, and upon her release, marry Ted, attend college, and together they’ll open a hardware store. She makes her first allusion to allegedly killing Alyssa. 

Later that evening, as Mary reads her new book, Tara arbitrarily picks a fight. She tears the book from Mary’s hands and rips it. Because Mary has a lot to lose—namely a life with Ted—she restrains herself from attacking Tara, grabs her book, and runs. Tara chases Mary through the house, screaming expletives and threatening to kill her. Finally, Ms. Reba and Ms. Stein enter the kitchen where Mary is crouched and taking a beating from Tara. Ms. Stein takes the book from Mary and tells her she doesn’t need it; not only is she too stupid to take the SAT, but no college will accept a killer. For the first time since Mary has lived with Ms. Stein, she responds aloud. Having believed Mary to be a mute, Ms. Stein is taken aback and interrogates Mary on the origin of the book. Because Mary cannot provide a receipt, Ms. Stein confiscates it. When Mary returns to work the following day, Ted takes her to a recently vacated room and applies ice packs to her back, which is severely bruised from the previous night’s attack. They lie in the hospital bed together and, for a moment, Mary escapes to a place of serenity where she feels genuinely loved and cared for. 

Twice a week, the young women attend group therapy with Ms. Veronica, who Mary describes as white, rich, and entirely unrelatable. The girls discuss a time they felt sad, and one young woman tells the group about the death of her mother. Her story reminds Mary of caring for her own mother when she would have “a day.” That night, Ms. Stein punishes Mary for the incident with Tara and the SAT book. She forces Mary to scrub toilets even though it is not her week. While Mary is cleaning excrement from the toilet bowl, she vomits. Although the nature of the chore is grotesque, the vomiting is a symptom of pregnancy. Mary’s agony emboldens Ms. Stein. 

Mary goes to the basement, which serves as the home’s library, and encounters New Girl using the computer. Mary has had no exposure to computers. In conversation, New Girl tells Mary that she’s read about her on the internet and asks Mary how she killed Alyssa. Mary, who still has not revealed the details of Alyssa’s death, thinks I didn’t mean to throw her.

Mary confirms her pregnancy with a test and then recalls her first sexual experience with Ted. When Mary throws up in front of Ms. Stein, she makes Mary take another test. It reads positive and she sends Mary off to work, promising to deal with her later. When Mary sees Ted at work, he has cuts and bruises all over his face and arms, but Mary does not press him for details. When Mary tells him that she is pregnant, he says that she will “make a great mom […] and [won’t] let anything happen to [their] baby” (67). 

An excerpt from the First Responder’s Report the night of Alyssa’s death breaks up the narrative. It describes Momma screaming in the front yard that a baby wasn’t breathing. Momma led the officer to Alyssa and he began CPR, but it was too late. 

Mary returns home from work, and Ms. Carmen and Winters are waiting for her. They ask Mary about the father of her unborn child; because she is 15 and Ted is 18, she does not reveal his identity. The social workers want to start adoption proceedings immediately. Hearing about the possibility of adoption excites Mary; her first thought is that someone actually wants her. She is crushed when Ms. Carmen says, “No, no, adoption for your baby” (70). Mary has no plans to give up her baby, nor has it occurred to her that because she has been convicted of killing a baby, the state will likely take hers upon its birth. Away from Mary, Ms. Stein defends herself to Ms. Carmen and Winters, telling them Mary has been trouble from the beginning. Ms. Stein asks why they can’t just make Mary get an abortion. Winters says, “She ain’t like the others […] she ain’t stupid” (72). 

The narrative is interrupted with an excerpt from the deposition of Momma’s neighbor, Charles Middlebury, who refers to Mary as “such a weird little kid […] [she stared] with those cold-blooded eyes of hers […] she was always getting into trouble” (73). He recounts how, on the night of Alyssa’s death, he looked out back and saw Mary in his yard “outside by the big tree, digging […] she was trying to dig up a grave for that little baby. Digging like a dog trying to hide his bone” (73).

Momma comes to visit and, for a change, Mary is anxious to see her. Needing her mother’s help, Mary asks Momma if she loves her. When Momma says she does, Mary says, “Well, I’m sorry, Momma, but it’s time. You have to tell the truth […] the truth about what happened to Alyssa” (75). Momma denies knowing what Mary is talking about. Mary then tells Momma she is pregnant. Mary begins to plead, telling Momma they’re going to take her baby away if Momma doesn’t say something. Momma is cold and acts as though she’s not heard what Mary has said. She heads for the door. When Mary grabs her sleeve, Momma slaps her across the face and says she knows the devil got inside Mary and had made her kill that little girl, but she “didn’t raise no ‘ho” (76). As Momma heads out, she grabs one of the visitors’ magazines, rolls it up and, without hesitation, squashes Herbert, calling him a “pesky little thing” (77).