Dear Justyce

In Quan’s first letter to Justyce, he explains that he felt “doomed” the moment his father was arrested. Throughout the novel, Quan wrestles with the concept of fate versus free will, especially as he tries to puzzle through how he ended up in prison. At times, Quan tends to favor the theory of fate: When he thinks back on his life, he “[doesn’t] really see where there was a different path for a dude like [him]” (156). However, he also recognizes that he made mistakes, such as when he calls himself “a dumb kid who made a bunch of dumb decisions” (266). Quan feels conflicted: He wants to take responsibility for the poor choices he made (just like Daddy always taught him to), but he also wants to acknowledge that some things were simply outside of his control.

Quan tries to “stay focused” after his father is arrested. He believes that if he tries his best to take care of his brother and sister, do well in school, and be a good person, he will gain some sense of control in his life. Unfortunately, after the math test incident, Quan realizes, “It [doesn’t] matter what he [does]. Staying focused didn’t give Quan any control at all” (52). Quan begins to give up trying to do his best and, in his own mind, surrenders his life to fate.

Quan considers it “fate” that he met Trey in the police station and feels like he was “destined” to fall in with the Black Jihad. For someone like Quan who has struggled for control of his life, this shift indicates his growing apathy and hopelessness. However, when Quan writes his final letter to his father, he blames himself and not destiny for the outcome of his life. He makes no excuses to his father but admits that he felt like he let him down. Quan knows that he disappointed his father but concludes by saying that Daddy’s letters “reminded [Quan] of [Quan’s] power” (156). Quan associates his father with feelings of responsibility and ownership, and although Quan knows that certain things might happen that are outside of his control, he will no longer allow his life to passively happen around him. Quan accepts responsibility for his choices while acknowledging that other forces (such as systemic racism) have played a role as well. Quan has spent most of his life grappling for some sense of control, and now he acknowledges that he will always have to face these “inevitable” circumstances.

When Quan makes the decision to talk about the night of the shooting and the coerced confession, he opens a door that eventually leads to his acquittal. Quan learns that he has more power than he gives himself credit for, and although he required some help to get there, he was the one who got the wheels turning to start his new life. Quan is empowered, hopeful, and ready to take responsibility for his own life.

Time and time again, Quan thinks back to the lack of positive role models he had in his life. In his letters to Justyce, he admits that “[Doc] has really grown on me. It’s too bad I didn’t meet him sooner” (91). Quan recognizes the power of positive role models in the lives of children; in fact, Quan himself has strived to be a good role model for Dasia and Gabe. He wanted them to see him do well in school, and he tried to stay out of trouble so they would follow suit. When Quan thinks back to his father’s arrest, he uses the word “doomed”: After Daddy was arrested, Quan felt like he lost the only adult that made him feel safe and loved, and from that moment on, Quan was searching for a similar feeling of love and acceptance. This is what breaks his heart when Mama believes he cheated on his math test: His own mother didn’t believe that he was capable of being successful on his own. Quan convinces himself that if his own mother can’t see the good in him, no one else will.

This mentality makes Quan an easy target for Trey, Martel, and the Black Jihad to come into his life and exert their control. Quan is so eager for love and acceptance (especially from older boys or men who share a similar background with him) that his small crimes quickly escalate, and before Quan knows it, he’s in over his head and has lost all control of his life. In prison, Quan finds a mentor in Doc and tells Justyce “There’s a good chance that if [the Black Jihad members] had the kinda support you had—dudes like Doc, for instance, who told us we could really do and be something, and who believed it—none of us woulda been at Tel’s [the night of the shooting]” (160). Quan always knew that Martel wasn’t the best influence, but at the time, he was the Black adult man who seemed to understand Quan’s anger and loneliness. However, once Doc comes along, Quan can suddenly see how his life might have turned out differently if he had had better influences in his life encouraging him and believing in him. Doc gets on Quan’s nerves sometimes and forces him to think outside of the box, but Quan grows to love Doc’s mentorship and guidance.

Similarly, Quan bonds to Justyce and admits that he always looked up to him. At first, Quan seems to be jealous of Justyce, much like he is jealous of his cousin Manny. However, Quan starts to consider Justyce a role model to emulate. Quan believes that “if [Quan] could be just like [Justyce], [Quan’s] dad would be proud of [him]” (41). Quan is fascinated by how similar he and Justyce are: They are from the same neighborhood, and both come from difficult home lives. They are both exceptionally intelligent and (for a time) both work hard in school. Both boys are compassionate, driven, and sensitive. The only difference Quan notices is the amount of support Justyce had in his life compared to Quan: Justyce had mentorship, whereas Quan did not.

Doc, Justyce, Tay, Liberty, and Attorney Friedman all play a role in building Quan up and giving him the support that he was lacking previously in his life. With their love and dedication to helping him, Quan’s future becomes every bit as promising and hopeful as Justyce’s.