Dreaming in Cuban

Felicia has delusions, and she is not sure what causes them. Her mind wanders and colors bleed together. She thinks that the sun worsens the delusions, so she stays inside and listens to Beny Moré records. This is the only activity that decreases her intrusive thoughts and re-orders the objects in her world. During these episodes, Felicia is often consumed by memories, thoughts of the future, and the feeling that she can read other people’s minds. She has the sense that everything in the world is connected. She recalls her childhood affinity for religious objects and reflects that although prayer cards, crucifixes, and other Catholic paraphernalia were more “intriguing” to her than the religion’s dogma, she still worried that her mother, an atheist, will go to hell when she dies. Celia is not religious, but she does have a healthy respect for powers that she does not understand, and she always kept her children inside on the feast day of Changó, the Yoruba “Orisha,” or deity. Celia has always disapproved of Felicia’s friendship with Herminia because Herminia’s father was denounced as a witch doctor.

Now, Felicia is consumed by thoughts of St. Sebastian, who was a girlhood obsession of hers because of his gruesome double execution; he had been shot through with arrows and then beaten to death. Because she had been intent on using Sebastian as her confirmation name despite the nuns’ adamant refusal, Felica had refused to participate in confirmation. While he was alive, Jorge was sure that this act of defiance was responsible for all of her subsequent troubles.

Felicia teaches her son Ivanito to dance as a way to rid herself of delusions and intrusive thoughts. And yet, she cannot help but think of Hugo Villaverde, her estranged husband. The two met while she was working as a waitress. Hugo was a merchant marine, and after spending a night with her, he left. By the time he returned later in the summer, she was pregnant. The two married during the week of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Jorge, who disapproved of the match, refused to attend the wedding. Hugo and Felicia moved into the house on Palmas Street. Hugo turned out to be a violent husband, and he soon returned to the sea, leaving Felicia to give birth to twin daughters, Luz and Milagro, on her own. By the time Hugo returned again, Felicia was suffering from syphilis and various other sexually transmitted diseases contracted from her husband. In a moment of lucidity, she realized that she must prevent him from returning. One day, while cooking plantains, she placed a rag into the hot oil, lit it on fire, and then dropped it onto his head. He ran from the house screaming.

Ivanito Villaverde

Felicia’s mental health continues to deteriorate. She and Ivanito dance maniacally each morning, and she uses all of her ration coupons to purchase every last coconut that she can find. She prepares a large quantity of coconut ice cream. Felicia believes that the coconut will purify them, but when Luz and Milagro return from a camping trip, they worry. They have seen their mother in this condition before and tell Ivanito that it spells trouble. They tell him that their mother set Hugo on fire and taunt him that he might end up as “crazy” as Felicia. At the end of the summer, Celia arrives at the house on Las Palmas and packs Ivanito’s belongings. When Celia leaves, Felicia makes sure that she and Ivanito are dressed in their finest clothing, prepares an elaborate dinner, and crushes up pink tablets into their ice cream. She tells Ivanito to “imagine winter.” Then, the two go to sleep.

Celia del Pino

Celia thinks that Ivanito resembles his father more and more as she ages. She recalls the last time she saw Hugo. At the time, Felicia was pregnant and had brought Hugo into her parents’ home despite Jorge’s opposition to the relationship. Jorge broke a dining-room chair over Hugo’s back, and Hugo had punched Jorge. Jorge told Felicia that if she left with Hugo, she should not return, but she followed him out the door anyway.

Celia continues to visit her ailing daughter, bringing her food and trying to help with the housework. She often sees Herminia on her way to Felicia’s, and although she is grateful for the woman’s friendship with Felicia, Herminia’s dedication to Santería makes her uncomfortable. The day that Felicia attempts suicide is otherwise unremarkable. Cecilia hitchhikes to Felicia’s house to bring food to her grandson Ivanito. She tells her daughter that her job at the beauty salon will be waiting for her when she returns. She attempts to take Ivanito, but Felicia promises that she’ll bring her son to the beach the next day. Celia believes her daughter and returns home. On the way home, she remembers her youth. She was one of nine children, but her father had a second family, also with nine children. Her parents eventually divorced, and Celia was sent to live with her great aunt in Havana. She loved the bustling city and learned about Cuban culture. She also inherited her great aunt’s distaste for religion.

That night, Celia’s sleep is troubled by a cacophony of dissonant voices. She wakes suddenly and sends her granddaughters to Herminia’s house, for she can sense that there is something wrong with Felicia.

In 1942, Celia writes to Gustavo that she still loves him, but that the feeling has become “habitual.” She wonders if he has read about the tidal wave that hit Cuba. She tells him that their house had survived, but everything inside of it has been sand-coated and damaged. She recalls their time together, asking if he remembers the poverty of the countryside. So many people in Cuba lack work, money, food, and clothing. She tells him that her son Javier was born with a caul and that Jorge believes it to be a sign of luck, for only once in each generation is such a child is born in his family. She tells him that Jorge has become afraid of her smile. After Gustavo left, she spent months in bed mourning his loss. Jorge saved her from that state of melancholy, but she cannot understand why she has been rescued.