Full Tilt

Cassandra continues to exploit Blake’s fears as he nears his goal. On the final ride, Blake and Quinn must navigate a cloud of famous landmarks, some of which hurdle toward them. Blake’s travel wishes are first introduced in Chapter 3. After he argues with Quinn, Blake looks at the travel posters on his bedroom wall and refers to them as “things that existed somewhere out there in one of the many dimensions I knew I’d never have access to. Things that were all so frighteningly far away” (34). The landmarks represent the life that Blake cannot achieve if he continues to live in fear.

On the ride, the landmarks are literal threats. Rather than becoming paralyzed by his fear, Blake survives because of his newfound balance. He works with Quinn to learn the dashboard switches and remarks that they can only defeat Cassandra one way: “We have to somehow do it together” (174). Quinn suggests pushing small debris toward her, but Blake knows that the plan is too cautious and suggests a riskier move: “What if we knock something big into her path?” (174). He uses risk to outsmart Cassandra, moving him emotionally closer to Quinn—who, in turn, suggests the more cautious approach.

Again, Blake and Quinn’s brotherhood is integral in finding balance. They are cast as opposites: “So much of my life had been under tight control. So much of Quinn’s life had been wild insanity” (177). Blake refers to his growth as a character, his journey to survive the park, and his choice to accept his trauma when he narrates, “What we needed now was both: a directed burst of controlled insanity” (177). Blake uses this balance to barrel through a minefield; by surviving alongside Quinn, Blake notes, “I think that was the moment I really found my brother” (179). Blake and Quinn find strength in their common ground rather than weakness in their differences. This parallels Blake’s character arc.

Blake’s loyalty to Quinn, Maggie, and Russ gives him a reason to confront his biggest source of trauma: the bus crash. However, it is telling that Blake chooses to take this final ride for himself: “Even if [Quinn’s] fate didn’t hang in the balance, I had to take this ride” (183). Without the last ride, Blake’s growth as a character is not complete. Until this point, readers have only received pieces of the event because Blake doesn’t remember all of it himself. In this sense, confronting the fear is more important than vanquishing it.

On the last ride, Blake relives the crash several times. Each time, he cannot open the emergency escape door before the bus slides over the cliff. In his real life, Blake’s memory of the tragedy plays in similar loops. His over-caution when driving, his fear of flying and roller coasters, and his haunted dreams are all results of the crash, which he refuses to fully remember or fully forget. Before a journey can conclude, its protagonist must make a difficult choice. Blake must choose between reliving the incident from beginning to end or becoming eternally trapped in its memory.

Blake realizes that the last ride is only Cassandra’s interpretation of what happened. Blake cannot access his full memory because he is living in her version. He says to Cassandra, “You didn’t hang around to see, did you?” (187). This truth resonates across Blake’s trauma. Similarly, his father didn’t stay to see the impact of his choices on Blake and Quinn. His mother’s boyfriends aren’t memorable because they come and go so quickly. Even Russ abandoned both Maggie and Blake throughout their time in the park; he didn’t see the consequences of his actions but was punished for them.

Blake has been living his life at the whims of others. He has allowed people other than himself to inform his trauma. When he allows himself control of his memory and his trauma, Blake gains access to his inner strength. He was not trapped on the bus just as he is not trapped in his current life. Throughout his time in the park, Blake has found a strength that already existed. His younger self teaches Blake a lesson about his future: “That terrified little boy somehow found it in himself to leap from the back of the doomed bus” (189). Blake must take similar leaps—choosing to attend college and travel the world, for example—if he hopes to escape unhappiness.

Blake’s final step does not involve Quinn or his friends. To a certain extent, it doesn’t involve Cassandra, either. Instead, it is a moment he shares with himself—in this case, the seven-year-old version of himself. Blake must accept that his survival, and his happiness, are as important as the happiness of others. Blake literally catches and comforts his younger self, acknowledging his deep trauma and accepting it as part of who he is: “I forgive you for not being strong enough to hold that bus up with your bare hands and save them all. I forgive you for surviving” (190).