55 pages • 1 hour read
Amid a transitional and tumultuous period, Alice exhibits desperation and communicates a longing to speak with someone who can relate to her conflicts and sympathize with her struggles. She fulfills this essential need by writing in her diary, building new friendships, and interviewing other teens who have similar struggles.
Alice addresses her diary as if speaking to a companion, occasionally mentioning that it’s the only one who understands her problems. Alice appreciates her diary for being “[her] dearest friend,” thinking, “I shall thank you always for sharing my tears and heartaches and my struggles and strifes, and my joys and happinesses” (184). Writing about her conflicts helps Alice cope with her emotional ups and downs. Although Alice personifies her diary, she demonstrates increasing awareness that she’s writing to herself, offering herself advice. Although meaningful friendships build and disappear, Alice remains her own best friend and closest confidant over the two years she writes in her diary.
Nevertheless, her short-lived friendships with Beth, Chris, and Doris illustrate the influential nature of a strong connection. Although Alice commits to sobriety after returning from San Francisco, Chris convinces Alice to smoke marijuana with her again: “She sounded like she didn’t know what to do. But when I got there and smelled that incredible smell, I just sat down on the floor of her room with her and cried and smoked. It was beautiful and wonderful” (84). Chris could choose to smoke alone, but she influences Alice to get high with her, knowing full well that Alice wants to give up drugs. Although Alice resists using drugs from several kids at school, her close connection with Chris, built on trust and empathy, pushes her to use substances again. Alice spends a significant portion of her adolescence lonely and isolated; she’d rather partake in dangerous activities with close friends than make healthy choices alone.
Alice transitions from wanting connection and empathy for herself to planning to serve as a supportive and empathetic companion for other troubled teens. Realizing that she can relate to and help other kids from similar backgrounds renews her purpose: “I’ll spend the rest of my life helping people who are just like me! I feel so good and happy. I finally have something to do for the rest of my life” (102). Alice understands how desperately kids need to feel seen and heard, as she initially struggles with feeling ignored and dismissed. Alice demonstrates growth by wanting to be a supportive authority figure for others instead of desiring connection and empathy for herself. She articulates more developed maturity and self-awareness, believing that she can use her traumatic experiences to find common ground with other challenged teens.
Although Alice’s family often fails to connect and empathize with her, they demonstrate profound love, supporting her as best they can in times of crisis. Alice’s family provides a safe place for her to develop emotionally, though Alice occasionally takes this security for granted. Whenever she hits extreme emotional lows, she longs for the companionship of her parents, grandparents, and siblings.
On the two occasions that Alice runs away, she anticipates hostility and punishment when she eventually decides to return home. Instead, her parents rejoice in her homecoming, trying to treat her with more respect and maturity. Alice helps her mother clean up after Christmas, thinking, “I feel grown-up. I am no longer in the category with the children, I am one of the adults! And I love it! They have accepted me as an individual, as a personality, as an entity. I belong! I am important! I am somebody!” (76). Their response and Alice’s relief in being safely back home illustrate the impact of supportive parents who refuse to shame their children for poor behavior. Alice’s parents show her respect, facilitating her ability to explore her adult identity. In feeling mature and appreciated, Alice’s emotional state becomes more stable, and she’s inspired to stay sober.
Tim and Alex provide Alice with camaraderie during more troubling experiences, like their grandparents’ deaths. While attending her grandfather’s funeral, Alice observes Gran and believes “Gramps was there beside her. I talked to Tim about it later and he felt exactly the same way” (117). Later, when the casket is lowered into the ground, Alice feels, “That was positively the worst part in the whole world. Alexandria and I cried even though none of the rest of the family did” (118). Alice feels understood by Tim and Alex during a harrowing ordeal. She grows closer to her siblings as her conflicts increase in complexity, illustrating how supportive sibling relationships can soothe emotional trauma.
Before Gran’s and Gramps’s deaths, Alice’s close bond with her grandparents gives her a reason to set goals and exhibit good behavior. Her grandfather set a high bar through his successful political career, and Alice often feels as though she has large shoes to fill: “Gramps was in politics and he was always the favored candidate, with Gran traveling by his side. So what is it with me? Am I some kind of a throwback? A misfit? A mistake!” (16). Although Alice struggles with self-worth, she understands that finding a life purpose will help her feel content. Alice considers several ambitious life plans while following the example that her grandparents set for her.
Alice’s wayward journey while experimenting with drugs points to the many other components of the 1970s counterculture movement. While Beatrice Sparks intended Alice’s story to serve as a cautionary tale for the 1970s counterculture to avoid substance abuse, she simultaneously captures how the movement influenced style, politics, ideologies, and the various responses to the movement.
Alice and Chris initially bond over a shared appreciation of new and trendy clothes reflecting the styles of their generation. Shopping at Chris’s boutique, Alice “found a cute pair of moccasins and a vest with fringe and a really great pair of pants” (44), though Alice’s mother later disapproves, leaving Alice feeling as if she’s “doing less and less right […] no matter what [she] do[es] [she] can’t please the Establishment” (44). Alice’s mother’s attitude toward Alice’s hair and clothes represents the generational divide. Her mother mistakenly assumes that bell-bottom jeans, sandals, natural hairstyles, and jewelry will lead her daughter to use drugs. In reality, Alice’s initial experience with drugs occurs when she dresses in line with her mother’s expectations. Alice’s mother approves of her clean-cut friends and boyfriends, not realizing that nearly all of them use drugs.
In addition, Alice witnesses political unrest on and around college campuses, reflecting resistance to the Vietnam War, among other political unrest and calls for peace common during the 1970s counterculture movement. Alice’s father takes her to an anti-war rally, saying, “He is very worried and upset about the students and talked to me as though I were an adult. I really enjoyed it” (120). Although Alice hesitates to enter into political communications with Berkeley students, she quickly adopts her father’s way of thinking. These snippets of political unrest on college campuses reflect historical events like the Kent State shootings. Although he cares for the students, Alice’s father believes “militant students [...] should be dealt with very harshly” (120), bringing forth a more conservative attitude about the rallies.
During her travels, Alice meets many kids in transient living situations who resist established ideologies concerning sexuality, family life, and religion. When Alice travels to Los Angeles and partakes in a week’s-long drug binge, she witnesses how others “keep saying ‘love’ to each other. It’s beautiful to watch. Color intermingled with color. People intermingled with people. Color and people intercoursing together” (95). Alice’s experience reflects the counterculture ideology of people chasing joy. Wanting to free themselves from society’s demands and social norms while living peacefully, people in the counterculture movement craved the freedom to find their own identity and purpose. Critics of counterculture, like Alice’s parents, saw hippie ideology as an excuse to use drugs and avoid work.
Plus, gain access to 8,800+ more expert-written Study Guides.
Including features:
Addiction
View Collection
Banned Books Week
View Collection
Books on Justice & Injustice
View Collection
Coming-of-Age Journeys
View Collection
Community
View Collection
Family
View Collection
Friendship
View Collection
Mental Illness
View Collection
National Suicide Prevention Month
View Collection
Pride & Shame
View Collection
Psychology
View Collection
Truth & Lies
View Collection