How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character

Tough opens up about his own educational journey, revealing that he dropped out of Columbia University in 1985, a decision he contrasts with the determination of students like Kewauna who decided to persevere through college. Tough shares that throughout his time reporting for the book, he grappled with a sense of regret for not having been more purposeful about his college experience.

Tough resonated with the beliefs of Dominic Randolph, the headmaster of Riverdale Country School, who argued that risking failure is an essential experience on the path to success. Randolph suggested that students from affluent backgrounds are often shielded from genuine adversity, which hampers their character development. This rang true for Tough, who at 18 felt compelled to seek out challenges beyond academic success. His quest for self-discovery led him to drop out of college not once, but twice, eventually setting him on a path to become a magazine editor and journalist, and later, to leave a stable job at The New York Times to embark on the uncertain journey of writing How Children Succeed.

Tough also shares that the birth of his son, Ellington, coincided with the writing of this book, prompting Tough to deeply consider what it means to be an effective parent. He reflects on the concept of high-licking-and-grooming (high-LG) parenting in rats, drawing parallels to human parenting that focuses on soothing and teaching children to manage stress. Tough concludes that, in addition to love and support, children need discipline, boundaries, and the opportunity to face and learn from adversity—principles he aims to apply in raising his own son.

Tough also touches on broader societal trends related to education and success. He notes a shift in the aspirations of graduates from top colleges, with an increasing number moving into finance and consulting. He argues that this trend, driven by fear of failure rather than a passion for specific endeavors, suggests a deeper issue within America’s educational and professional landscapes. Tough cites law professor James Kwak’s observation that, for students unused to failure, high-status jobs at investment banks and consulting firms become alluring, not because of the work itself, but because they promise security and prestige. This phenomenon reflects a larger cultural shift away from risk-taking and innovation toward safer, more predictable paths.

Tough also reflects on a significant shift in public discourse in recent decades regarding poverty. The vigorous debates of the 1960s and the 1990s, which once placed poverty at the forefront of national concern, have largely vanished from public and political dialogue. Instead, in the United States, discussions about poverty have become entwined with conversations about education, leading to a singular focus on the educational achievement gap between wealthy and impoverished students—a gap that demonstrates the marked disadvantages faced by children from low-income families in the educational system.

Tough critiques the prevailing focus within education reform circles on improving teacher quality as a solution to closing the achievement gap for low-income students. He argues that this focus is too narrow and distracts from a more comprehensive and crucial question: how society can enhance the life prospects for millions of impoverished children. The discussion about improving teacher quality, in his view, simplifies a complex issue, overlooking the broader, systemic changes needed to address the root causes of educational disparities.

Furthermore, Tough points out that the conflation of the debates on poverty and education has led to an oversight of a critical reality: Many educational reforms, including the celebrated high-performing charter schools, are most effective for the highest achieving low-income students and less so for those who struggle academically. The designation “low-income” encompasses a wide range of economic backgrounds, including families considered working- or even middle-class by some standards. Children living in extreme poverty—those in families earning less than $11,000 annually—face numerous barriers to educational success that are not encountered by even their slightly better-off peers. Tough’s analysis suggests that the conversation needs to shift back to addressing the multifaceted challenges of poverty that extend beyond the classroom, to truly improve the educational outcomes and life chances of all low-income children.

Tough explores the complex terrain of education reform and its intersection with poverty. He points out a dichotomy in the discourse on improving educational outcomes for low-income children: Reform advocates tend to focus on in-school factors, such as teacher quality, believing that excellence in teaching can overcome socioeconomic disadvantages. On the other hand, critics of reform efforts argue that external factors, unrelated to the quality of schooling, are the primary barriers to educational achievement for these students. However, Tough argues that both sides often overlook the crucial role of family environment and stress in shaping children’s ability to succeed academically.

Tough identifies three main reasons for the misdirection in the education reform debate. First, the relevant scientific research on adversity and its impact on development is complex and not widely understood, making it challenging for the public and policymakers to grasp. Second, there is a general discomfort in discussing the realities of family dysfunction, especially as it relates to low-income families, due to a combination of unfamiliarity and sensitivity around the subject. Last, science challenges entrenched political ideologies across the spectrum by affirming that character does indeed play a significant role in success. However, contrary to some conservative viewpoints that suggest character is merely a matter of individual effort or moral fortitude, the evidence suggests that character traits are deeply influenced by environmental factors and early childhood experiences.

This science underscores a critical insight: The traits that contribute to success, such as resilience and self-control, are not simply innate qualities or the result of personal choice. Instead, they are developed through a complex interplay between genetics and environment, particularly the level of stress a child is exposed to and their relationships with caregivers. Thus, societal interventions can significantly impact the development of these character strengths in children, pointing to the need for a holistic approach to education reform that considers the full spectrum of a child’s life experiences.