40 pages • 1 hour read
Fallon waits for Ben at a café in New York, thinking of the things she has arranged for them to do that day. A waitress hands her a phone. Ben is still in Los Angeles because his older brother Kyle died in a “wreck two days ago” (135).
Ben struggles with his emotions because he feels he must be strong for those around him. He feels alone because his older brother Ian has his best friends with him. Kyle’s wife Jordyn is pregnant and refuses to leave her bedroom. She and Kyle were about to leave for an anniversary trip on the day the latter died. Ben and Ian’s uncle suggests that Ben sell the house as Jordyn will likely move in with her mother and Ian is never around. The doorbell rings, and Ben is surprised to see Fallon at the door.
Fallon caught the first plane out of New York after speaking to Ben. They kiss and go up to Ben’s room where he breaks down, telling Fallon about Kyle’s accident.
Fallon’s presence distracts everyone at dinner, easing their grief. Ben brings Fallon upstairs to take a shower, and she asks for a clean shirt as she brought no luggage. Rather than dig in his closet where he is hiding his manuscript, something Ben is not ready for Fallon to see, he offers her the shirt off his back.
Fallon showers, her thoughts obsessing over what happens next. When she joins Ben in bed, he’s asleep. He wakes when she lies down and complains about missing her walk from the bathroom in his shirt. She models the shirt for him, and then he demands she take it off. Fallon does, and Ben makes her feel beautiful despite her scars. She gets back into bed, and they kiss and make love.
Ben tells Fallon that he’s thinking about selling the house when Jordyn goes home. He wants to move to New York so they can be together. Fallon is touched by the gesture and quickly agrees. However, when she goes downstairs some hours later and runs into Jordyn, she is told Ben got a literary agent for his manuscript (about their arrangement). Jordyn admits to having read a portion of the book and feels it is promising. She also confesses that she doesn’t want to go home, but is worried about being a burden to Ian and Ben. Ben enters and reassures Jordyn that she could never be a burden. Witnessing all this, Fallon realizes that if she allows Ben to move to New York, she’ll ruin his chance of writing his book or being a part of his nephew’s life.
Ben discovers Fallon getting ready to leave. He tries to convince her to stay, but she refuses. He asks if she wants to be with him or go back to their arrangement. Fallon says she wants to go back to their arrangement, and Ben lets her go.
Fallon waits in her and Ben’s agreed restaurant, nervous to tell him that she has moved back to Los Angeles in order to go to school. When Ben arrives, he has his nephew, Oliver, with him. Ben is careful about touching Fallon, and then lets it slip that he and Jordyn share a bedroom. Fallon is heartbroken and rushes to the bathroom. Ben follows.
Ben is surprised by Fallon’s reaction, as she was the one to break his heart first; he didn’t think she cared as much about him as he did her. He tries to explain himself, but doesn’t fully understand how his and Jordyn’s arrangement came to be; he doesn’t care for Jordyn the way he does Fallon, but wants to put Oliver first. Fallon leaves and Ben follows her to her car, realizing belatedly that she is now living in Los Angeles. He’s surprised, feeling even worse about his choices. Fallon tells him that their arrangement was a good experiment, but it’s over. She refuses to see him next year.
Colleen Hoover introduces death to the plot in the form of Kyle’s accident. For the reader, this is the first time death is a part of the story bar Ben mentioning his deceased mother. The reader does not know the details surrounding Ben’s mother nor Ben himself as he avoids answering Fallon’s questions about his past.
The past aside, Ben and Fallon share some intimate moments that change the nature of their relationship. They both express a desire to change their arrangement in lieu of an official relationship. There is optimism in this discussion, hope for the future amidst Ben’s grief over Kyle’s death.
However, Fallon speaks to Jordyn and learns that Ben got a literary agent for his manuscript (about their arrangement). Fallon is excited to see his aspirations come true even as hers wane. Jordyn adds that Ben let her read some of his book, which he actively forbids Fallon from doing (by keeping it hidden in his closet). Fallon is hurt by this, unable to understand why he would share the book with Jordyn but not her. This hints at Ben’s relationship with his sister-in-law being deeper than it seems. Ben’s behavior also suggests that there might be something in the book that he is hiding from Fallon, setting up a future moment in which she reads a portion of it without his permission.
Fallon has grown from a self-conscious girl who desired to hit her neglectful father to a young woman capable of putting others’ needs ahead of her own. She realizes that leaving Los Angeles will damage Ben’s career as a writer and take him away from his only nephew, so she chooses to return to their original arrangement rather than allow him to join her in New York. It is a difficult decision, but one she truly believes is in both her and Ben’s best interests.
Ben is left heartbroken by Fallon’s decision to return to their arrangement and refuses to hear her reasoning. He lashes out emotionally in the moment, and then dives into a relationship with Jordyn while the two of them are still struggling in their grief over Kyle. Ben’s reaction is immature and self-destructive, and it again foreshadows the reveal of a similar moment in his past.
Ben’s relationship with Jordyn is a shocking turn of events—despite it clearly being a relationship of convenience, not necessarily romantic love. Ben and Jordyn had a close relationship before Kyle’s death, and Kyle hit Ben for an unknown reason, therefore it is possible that this relationship was brewing before the accident. However, Ben’s narration upon seeing Fallon’s heartbroken reaction (to him and Jordyn sharing a bedroom) makes it clear that his new relationship was born of grief. Ben says he could never love Jordyn the way he loves Fallon, leaving the reader contemplating that this may not be the end for the pair.
Ben and Fallon’s reactions to heartbreak speak to their personalities; the former lashes out, while the latter shuts down and pushes everyone away. When Fallon learns that Ben is with Jordyn, she is hurt and briefly lashes out at him, but then pushes him away, refusing to continue their arrangement. She displays some maturity but also refuses explanation, foreshadowing her later reaction to Ben’s manuscript (and the source of his trauma).
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By Colleen Hoover