43 pages • 1 hour read
So B. It
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Symbols & Motifs
Overview
Several symbols of dishonesty accompany the lies told by Heidi and Mr. Hill. Each of these symbols supports the theme of “Dishonesty in Difficult Situations.”
Heidi dresses in Bernie’s clothing and adds a touch of makeup by habit each time she goes to the Sudsy Duds to play the slot machine, but when she lies to Bernie about going to the library to cover her trip to the bus station, her costume takes on new symbolic meaning of dishonesty. Heidi must change into the clothes at the station and do up her own hair, without Bernie’s help or knowledge. The slot machine at the bus station is also a symbol of dishonesty; whereas the Sudsy Duds slot money that Heidi gets with her uncanny luck is used for items for the three of them, the money Heidi acquire at the bus station slot machine is used to purchase a bus ticket for her alone—a purchase Bernie knows nothing about.
The strawberry rhubarb pie that Heidi eats on the bus as she begins telling lies to Alice is a symbol of dishonesty as well. Heidi is actually guilty of three vices in this scene, and the pie is a strong symbol for all three: dishonesty (Heidi lies about having a grandmother), gluttony (Heidi eats the whole pie), and jealousy (Heidi is jealous of Alice’s close family connections).
Mr. Hill’s Santa costume serves as a symbol that foreshadows his dishonesty. Mr. Hill tries to assume the guise of the jolly and generous personality, but he shows opposite traits upon meeting Heidi. Mr. Hill’s watch serves as a symbol of his dishonesty in Heidi’s dream. She feels that he must know what soof means, because his son Elliot said the word upon seeing Heidi; yet Mr. Hill insists he did not know Heidi’s mother and does not know the word. When Heidi dreams of Mr. Hill, the same watch that he wore with the Santa suit in the holiday photos is on his wrist, and she can see the letters S-O-O-F marking the hour and quarter hour places.
Realizations and “Light Bulb” Moments
Instances of realization, discovery, or “light bulb” moments repeat as motifs in the novel and support the “Knowledge and Understanding as Paths to Identity” theme. For example, Heidi describes Mama in terms of skills Mama has realized: with Bernie’s help, Mama discovers how to use a can opener and how to make tea. Also, in the backstory of the novel, Bernie has a “light bulb” moment when she remembers the door in the back of her closet and discovers that it adjoins to Mama’s apartment. This discovery both changes her identity and brings her fulfillment, as she can now take on new caretaking tasks for Mama and Heidi to replace the ones she handled for her father before he died.
Heidi experiences several realization moments in the book. When she finds the roll of film, she realizes she might learn some clues to the past; when she finds the red sweater, she realizes the woman wearing it in the photos was in the apartment. She inadvertently discovers a side to Ruby’s identity when she finds the baby clothing Ruby saved after losing three pregnancies. Heidi also discovers the truth about Mama and her past when Mr. Hill tells her about Mama, Elliot, and Diane DeMuth.
Heidi also experiences two “light bulb” moments in noticing how her own identity changed. The first occurs when she catches sight of her reflection in the ABC cab on the way to Hilltop Home. The other occurs when she sees herself in the mirror for the first time after Ruby cuts her hair. Both times Heidi thinks that she hardly looks like herself, and both symbolize the coming-of-age changes that result from her discoveries and experiences.
Words Used to Self-Soothe
Another motif is the use of words to soothe raw emotions and strong reactions. This motif contributes to the theme of “Self-comfort and Satisfaction Versus Agitation and Loss of Control.”
Mama uses the word done as she tries to self-soothe after Heidi tries to get her to ride the city bus: “Done. Done. Done, Heidi, shh” (44). Mama may be remembering the moments after a bus struck and killed her mother Diane DeMuth and she (Mama) could not get baby Heidi to stop crying without help.
Mama relies on tea as both a word representing comfort and as one of the few tasks she can perform for others. She offers Heidi tea when Heidi grows upset and frustrated over the photos: “Tea, Heidi?” (61). Mama is trying to soothe Heidi while also seeking a way to calm her own agitation and worry.
When Mama dies unexpectedly, Heidi rocks on the bed at Ruby’s house and uses Mama’s word: “Done. Done. Done, Heidi, shh.” Heidi seeks a way to soothe her raw emotions, but symbolically the adoption of Mama’s word Done stands for goodbye.
Soof repeats often throughout the book as well. Heidi eventually learns that the word was Eliot’s name for Mama, but she also realizes that Mama’s and Elliot’s use of the word has a wider meaning with consistently positive connotations. While Mama did not use the word love, to Mama, soof meant the same thing.
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