You've Reached Sam

The chapter begins with Julie recalling a text she sent to Sam on the day he died: “MARCH 7 11:09 P.M. Don’t bother picking me up anymore. I can walk home” (15). Julie walked five miles home, with her carry-on luggage. Sam forgot to pick her up from a suspected trip, but he drove from a friend’s bonfire an hour away. Julie wishes he listened to her and stayed at the bonfire, rather than being his giving self, trying to fix the problem.

In the present day, Julie wakes up before noon for the first time in a week, fueled with the idea that she needs to erase Sam. She deletes all his texts and photos. Then she gathers anything in her room that reminds her of Sam, including burned CDs, birthday cards, ticket stubs, and his denim jacket. She hesitates about the jacket, which has a “wool collar and embroidered patches (band logos and flags of places he’s traveled) along the sleeves that he ironed on himself” (15). It reminds her so much of Sam, but Julie throws the jacket in the box too.

Her mother opens the box and suggests that Julie doesn’t need to toss everything reminiscent of Sam. Julie insists that she needs to move on, as it’s been a week, and assures her mom that she’s going back to school tomorrow. Her mother is supportive, though she’s a philosophy professor and wants to discuss the grief more.

Julie walks through the small town and tosses Sam’s box at the garbage/recycling site. She then meets her friend and Sam’s cousin, Mika, at a diner. Mika encourages Julie to at least visit Sam’s grave. Julie missed Sam’s vigil, funeral, and burial, and Mika defended her by saying she was sick. Julie argues that Sam’s death wasn’t her fault, and that Sam wouldn’t care about the ceremonies. Mika is hurt by her harshness; she gives Julie her missed homework and the yearbook, then leaves.

Julie walks through town, having memory flashes of her and Sam in the setting. She goes to the lake and tries to write in her notebook. She can’t focus, choosing to look at her yearbook. Sam left her a note about his love for her, how grateful he is to have found her, and how excited he was for their future. Julie feels guilty, regretting not honoring Sam and his memory. She races to the garbage site, but her box of Sam’s things is already gone. She runs into the woods, slipping in a puddle, and lets the rain fall over her. Desperate, she calls Sam’s number, and after many rings, his voice answers.

Sam repeatedly asks if Julie is there and she thinks she’s hallucinating or hit her head. As Julie grapples with the unbelievable reality of hearing Sam on the phone from the beyond, he talks to her like nothing is amiss. He says, “I thought you might have forgotten about me” and that he “missed her infinity” (32). Julie questions how their conversation is possible, and Sam doesn’t understand either, but he assures her it‘s really him and they should value their calls “like before” (33). Sam can only explain he’s “somewhere,” and only their reconnection matters. When Sam tells her to get out of the rain and call him back, Julie panics that their connection won’t last. Sam promises to answer her next call.

Julie walks to her and Sam’s favorite coffee shop, where he used to work. Strangely, when she checks her phone, she doesn’t have any calls or messages. She calls Sam, who answers immediately. Sam keeps asking if she remembers certain activities, like the time they went to a concert in the rain and Sam got his guitar signed. Julie questions the logic of their call, and Sam assures her this is real and that she needs to trust him.

Some of Sam’s friends, Taylor and Liam, arrive at the coffee shop, and Julie hurries away, thinking they blame her for Sam’s death. She races home without realizing she’s crying, Sam comforting her. When she asks why he picked up, Sam says he wanted to give them a chance to say goodbye, and Julie replies, “But I never wanted to say goodbye” (39).

Sam instructs her to go to his house for a gift. His family isn’t home, and Julie uses the hidden key. She tells Sam about the funeral flowers, then the boxes in his room. He’s confused about his family packing his items, then remembers he’s dead. Julie opens her gift, the second bookend he saved for her. Feeling guilty, she admits that she threw all his stuff away, including the matching bookend, to forget him and that she’s so sorry. To cheer her up, Sam instructs Julie to take something new. She chooses his Radiohead T-shirt. After talking for hours, Sam apologizes for everything, and she falls asleep in his bed.

In a “BEFORE” chapter, Julie and Sam played with his little brother, James, by building a blanket fort. They played an imaginary game that included aliens, viruses, and zombies. Julie added acid rain to the plot. When Sam said he was the alien, James jumped atop him, ruining the fort.

The scene shifts to Julie in Sam’s car, parked across from Reed College. Julie felt leery and unsure, but Sam coaxed her to check out the school, since he drove her four hours to Portland and wanted her to see their future. She worried that she might hate it, that the school wasn’t like the pictures, but Sam said that she wasn’t giving her dream school a fair chance. Sam could tell she was scared about leaving her mom alone, but he persuaded Julie to tour campus.

Smoke fades into another memory of a house party, where Sam brought Julie on one of their first dates and introduced her to his cousin, Mika, who was friendly and sweet. Mika told Julie about Sam’s favorite book and band so the new couple could bond better. Sam overdrank, and Julie helped him run from the cops who broke up the party.

The memory transitions to Sam at a baseball diamond with a telescope. He surprised Julie to look at Saturn’s rings, inspiration for her latest story she was writing. The weather was too cloudy, but Julie was touched by his care and commitment to her passion for writing. Julie said she could describe the rings well enough, but he promised to show her Saturn’s rings another time, on a clear night.

In the present day, Julie heads to school, where everyone ignores her: “No one asks how I’m doing or looks my way. I don’t know what I was expecting coming back. [...] Maybe they all noticed I wasn’t at the funeral” (51). Julie worries that her classmates judge her as heartless, as halls grow silent when she walks by, but she ignores this treatment.

At lunch, she sits with Yuki, Rachel, and Jay, who are all exchange students from Asian countries. Sam was Japanese American, so they got along well. Jay offers her their favorite green tea Kit Kats. They share that they missed Julie and miss Sam, too. Yuki lived with Sam and his family for the first year of her exchange program, so they were close friends. The table of friends is supportive to Julie, telling her to reach out if she needs anything.

Oliver, Sam’s best friend, approaches Julie at the end of the day. Though Sam wanted them to become friends too, Julie and Oliver never clicked, feeling an odd tension. Oliver awkwardly asks her how she’s been, but she tries to hurry home to talk to Sam. Oliver pleads with her to talk about Sam and the unfairness of his death. Oliver is hurting too, so Julie agrees that he can text her anytime about Sam.

At home, Julie’s mom asks her why she didn’t answer her messages. She texted and called her last night, but her phone doesn’t show any notifications. Julie’s mom complains that it must be their cell service.

Julie goes to her room. The calls with Sam don’t appear in her call history either. She wonders if it’s all in her mind, until Sam answers her. When Sam converses with her like normal, Julie pushes about reality: “I’m almost afraid to ask this. But I have to know. ‘You died, Sam…You know that, don’t you?’” (58). Sam says he is aware but still processing that he’s gone and repeats they should trust in their connection without questioning it, as it’s outside their understanding.

Sam tells her they need to say goodbye eventually, that the calls will end, but they can talk until then. Julie tells him about her day, reassuring herself that she wouldn’t have his shirt or the new bookend without Sam’s calls being real. She’s thrilled to have Sam back, refusing to let him go.